Rocket Launch (Acorn Electron Cassette 50 Game 36)

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Note: the BBC Micro version is identical to the Acorn Electron version

I have a big ball and I am going to throw it right in your stupid tank face. Yeah! Take that! Although…it’s not as easy as it looks. Dammit. Guess you and your stupid tank are safe from having my big balls in your face. Today at least.

See the Commodore 64 version of Rocket Launch
See the Atari 8-bit version of Rocket Launch
See the ZX81 version of Rocket Launch

Submarine (Acorn Electron Cassette 50 Game 35)

See the Vic-20 version of Submarines35 Submarine

You might think, given the title, that you are the Submarine pilot in this game.

Actually, is that job called a Submarine Pilot? Submarine Driver? Submarine Person who makes it go through the water and then maybe up out of the water and then down into the water again?

Anyway, you’re not the person who moves the submarine. You’re the boat. And you have to drop depth charges onto the submarine before it shoots a torpedo up at you. The reasons for this skirmish are not revealed, so I’m going to assume that it’s a fight between two people who had an argument over whether Yasmine Bleeth or Pamela Anderson was the best in Baywatch (obviously it was Yasmine Bleeth), and they have never let it go, and now spend their days trying to blow each other up.

See the Commodore 64 version of Submarine (Called Submarines)
See the ZX81 version of Submarine
See the Vic-20 version of Submarine (Called Submarines)

Ghosts (Acorn Electron Cassette 50 Game 34)

34 Ghosts

Note: the BBC Micro version is identical to the Acorn Electron version

Ghosts. Woooooooh! Ghosts are scary! Is this a scary game? Am I going to do a little wee of fear in my pants when I play it?

No. Because this game doesn’t involve anything supernatural at all. it just involves you remembering a string of numbers and typing them back in. I cut the video below short, but naturally of course I remembered  a sequence of a thousand numbers. I am Rain Man.

And that’s all I have to say about Ghosts.

See the Amstrad version of Ghosts
See the Commodore 64 version of Ghosts
See the Atari 8-bit version of Ghosts
See the ZX81 version of Ghosts

Inferno (Acorn Electron Cassette 50 Game 33)

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Note: the BBC Micro version is identical to the Acorn Electron version

In the previous post we saw how you had been tasked with getting rid of an intruder from the building, and how you failed badly. Well that has come back to haunt you as, not content with doing a mess in your toilet, now the cheeky bastard has actually set fire to the building.

Time for you to make amends for not catching the intruder. But instead of calling the fire brigade, all the other residents want you to redeem yourself by putting out the fire.

Of course you burn to death, you idiot.

GET OUTGET THE FIRE BRIGADE OUT! AND STAY OUT!

See the Amstrad version of Inferno
See the Commodore 64 version of Inferno
See the ZX Spectrum version of Inferno
See the Atari 8-bit version of Inferno
See the ZX81 version of Inferno

Intruder (Acorn Electron Cassette 50 Game 32)

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Note: the BBC Micro version is identical to the Acorn Electron version

There’s an intruder in the building. It might be some kind of hotel or a block of flats and you have to find the intruder. The instructions don’t explain why it has to be you, but I assume it’s because you’re the hardest person around or something and I imagine you’ll give this intruder a stern ticking off when you find him or her. But watch out, you only get five attempts. If you don’t find them they’ll eventually find you and say the five worst swears at you before running off out of the building with a stolen pair of your pants. And later on you’ll find out what a disgusting mess they’ve made in one of the toilets, and you’ll have to clean it up yourself, crying tears of frustration because no one else will ever trust you to get rid of an intruder again. You fucking failure.

See the Amstrad version of Intruder
See the Commodore 64 version of Intruder
See the Vic-20 version of Intruder
See the Atari 8-bit version of Intruder
See the ZX81 version of Intruder

Phaser (Acorn Cassette 50 Game 31)

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Note: the BBC Micro version is identical to the Acorn Electron version

There’s no explanation in the instructions, but I believe The Phaser might be one of those futuristic game shows like The Running Man or The Love Machine (the unsuccessful contestants in that go down a big chute and chopped up and fed to Stacey Solomon after the show).

The Phaser is one evil bastard, and you only get a chance to step once to the right or left as it comes down. And there’s no respite – if you manage to dodge through a gap The Phaser still keeps on coming back for more.

Oh – I have been advised to say that Stacey Solomon does not eat the contestants after an episode of The Love Machine. She only watches dispassionately as Chris Moyles eats them instead.

Watch me play Phaser:

See the Commodore 64 version of Phaser
See the Atari 8-bit version of Phaser
See the ZX81 version of Phaser