Everyone has surely wanted to be surly faced Jimmy Nail at some point haven’t they? Jimmy Nail at his crazy 80’s best, off in Dusseldorf with Timothy Spall and the other ones whose names I can’t remember because I didn’t really watch this programmable, what with being a bit too young and everything.
Alright, I never have wanted to be Jimmy Nail. But I bet you have. And now you can be in this effort from Tynesoft. Let’s see what crazy hi-jinks Mr Nail gets up to in Germany.
First up, the confusing and difficult to read instructions:
Got that? Very clear eh?
Right, off to lay some bricks then. Best not run into those disembodied heads or wayward trowels though (“bewear” of the trowels, as the instructions beautifully put it). I can only think that Jimmy Nail is being paid more deutschmarks than he is admitting to if he isn’t going to question quite why his job involves heads as large as he is and trowels being chucked at him while he works.
Anyway, Jimmy Nail is utterly shit at his bricklaying job, as this video demonstrates (and do note that although this goes on for 54 seconds, only six seconds of that is me playing the game):
Never mind, Mr Nail, go to this weird pub that you have to get in a lift to enter and get absolutely pissed instead. Just be careful not to bump into any barmaids. Or Tables. Or the wall. Oh:
Ah well Jimmy, not to worry that your night on the lash was cut short. Should just be a quick walk back to where you’re staying under German efficiently lighted streets shouldn’t it.
Now, you may have watched those videos and thought about what an insultingly bad game it is. And you’re right. But the absolute Pièce de résistance is the cassette cover. Enjoy: