YOU WIN! You win at being the best at playing Cassette 50 on all formats it was released on and blogging about it until your brain gives up on you and you shrivel up into a husk.
See the Vic-20 version of Pontoon
See the Commodore 64 version of Pontoon
See the Amstrad version of Pontoon(known as Pontoon Bet)
See the Atari 8-bit version of Pontoon
See the Acorn Electron Version of Pontoon
Got new trainers. I’m going for a run. They’ll make me go faster. Watch me run. Flying fast down the street. Nothing can stop me. Wooooo!
Except, of course, something did stop me.
I managed to get a restraining order out against those stupid Psions, and they had to move on. Last I heard they were bothering old Mrs Berry down the road, though while most of them were shuffling around outside her house one of them moved in, and old Mr Berry has had to go and live with his sister while his wife has it away with a space alien.
Anyway, they knew I’d got new trainers so they left all their rubbish lying around while I went for a joyful run. Now I’ve only gone and tripped over some of it and hurt my knee.
Bastards. I HATE THE PSIONS.
See the Commodore 64 version of Ivasive Action
See the Amstrad version of Ivasive Action (called Evasive Action)
See the Atari 8-bit version of Ivasive Action
See the Acorn Electron & BBC Micro version of Ivasive Action
I hate the Psions.
It’s always the same. All I want to do is cross the road and go and get a pint of milk and a paper. And a can of ridiculous strength beer, just to see me through the afternoon. But it’s always a bloody hassle because between my house and the shop are all these stupid Psions. Day after day they shuffle back and forth, like a dad dancing to the best of Level 42 in a silent disco. And they’ve left their space mines lying about for anyone to go tripping over. I really bruised my shin last time I walked into one of them. And did they apologise? No, they did not. Just carried on moving side to side (though I think I heard one snigger quietly).
I hate the Psions. Have they got nothing better to do than ruin my day while they listen to their 80s smooth jazz funk? Why do they have to stand outside my house? I’ve tried asking them what I did to piss them off so much. No reply. More silent movement. I tried to tell them that Level 42 are shit. One of them gave me a bit of a steely glare but they didn’t move on to somebody else’s house. I tried to pick up a space mine and move it but I hurt my back and now I have to pay a lady to walk up and down on it before I can even think about going outside and facing these fools.
I see them now, their slow side step after side step after side step. Watching me. Waiting.
I hate the Psions.
See the Atari 8-bit version of Psion Attack (called Zion Attack)
See the Acorn Electron & BBC Micro Version of Psion Attack
See the Commodore 64 version of Psion Attack
Let’s go fight. In space. In our spaceships. Pew pew pew!
Wait, I can’t find my shoot button. Stop shooting at me! You cheat! You absolute fucking cheat!
And I can’t seem to move my ship. What have you done? Stop it! This is no fun.
No fun at all.
See the Commodore 64 version of Galactic Dogfight
See the Vic-20 version of Galactic Dogfight
See the Acorn Electron & BBC Micro version of Galactic Dogfight