Beat ‘Em and ‘Eat Em / Philly Flasher


You’re probably looking at that picture above with some measure of disbelief. Yep, that is a bloke jerking off on a rooftop, and nudey ladies below trying to catch his (yellow) jizz in their mouth. When they’ve caught it all they do one of the the most disturbing licking of their lips that I have ever seen.

Yes, I know it sounds like I’ve made this game up, but it is real. I played it and it is truly awful. I played it for you, because I spoil you. This game was released in 1982 by Mystique Games, and as the manual (which can be read here) states: ” We have designed our adult games to be whimsical, entertaining, challenging, naughty and fun”.

It is not any of those things. It is horrible on so many levels:

There is a gender reversed version of the game called Philly Flasher where a witch drops breast milk from the rooftop and two blokes have to swallow it. And when they succeed they have a good old wank all over the pavement: