Planets (Atari 8-bit Cassette 50 Game 36)

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Fly your ship over the rocky planet without crashing. Or crash it if you want, it doesn’t seem to make a difference in this game. The only thing that (nearly) redeems this game is the background noise.

See the the Amstrad version of Planets
See the Commodore 64 version of Planets (Called Planets Defender)
See the Acorn Electron & BBC Micro version of Planets
See the ZX81 Version of Planets

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Planets (Amstrad Cassette 50 Game 37)

cpc_37_planets_wp

The only (almost) redeeming feature of this pile of dog poo is the drone noise when you crash.

See the Commodore 64 version of Planets (Called Planets Defender)
See the Atari 8-bit version of Planets
See the Acorn Electron & BBC Micro version of Planets
See the ZX81 Version of Planets

Planets Defender (Commodore 64 Cassette 50 Game 37)

c64_37_planets_wp

If the aliens ever invade earth you have nothing to worry about. And you have nothing to worry about because there is one whole missile to protect us all. One whole missile that can be piloted by someone as inept as me, and that will surely fight off the invaders, and not miss them completely because it’s really hard to control.

See the the Amstrad version of Planets
See the Atari 8-bit version of Planets
See the Acorn Electron version of Planets
See the ZX81 version of Planets

Planets (ZX81 Cassette 50 Game 37)

37 planets

Can’t a person just go and have a nice leisurely fly over a monochrome city without an astroid coming along and ruining everything? Just jumping in my little plane and heading out on a Sunday for a quick trip out instead of staying in ad vegetating to death in front of Antiques Roadshow? The answer from Planets is a resounding “no”.

And I am forever damned to seeing the message “Score 0. Best Score 0”.

Best score zero.

Zero.

See the the Amstrad version of Planets
See the Commodore 64 version of Planets (Called Planets Defender)
See the Atari 8-bit version of Planets
See the Acorn Electron & BBC Micro version of Planets

Planets (Acorn Electron Cassette 50 Game 37)

37 Planets

Note: the BBC Micro version is identical to the Acorn Electron version

Does seeing if the natural gravity of a planet can drag you in and kill you sound like fun? If so then this is the game for you, you big thrill seeker.

“If you survive for 100 time units you win. If not you lose” says the instructions. What you might win isn’t made clear. Maybe just a condescending pat on the head and a badge that says “I didn’t die by stupidly crashing into a massive planet  Well done me”. And  a Daphne and Celeste Album. And a Bergerac Box Set.

Have a look at the exciting will he/won’t he die action:

See the the Amstrad version of Planets
See the Commodore 64 version of Planets (Called Planets Defender)
See the Atari 8-bit version of Planets
See the ZX81 Version of Planets