Inferno (Amstrad Cassette 50 Game 33)

cpc_33_inferno_wp

This game fits neatly into the “I really have no fucking idea what’s going on here” category.

See the ZX Spectrum version of Inferno
See the Commodore 64 version of Inferno
See the Atari 8-bit version of Inferno
See the Acorn Electron & BBC Micro Version of Inferno
See the ZX81 version of Inferno

Attacker (ZX Spectrum Cassette 50 Game 49)

zx_49_attacker_wp

And so it comes to this. One of the most insulting Cassette 50 games I’ve ever played. Somehow you have to get an attacker (of some sort) into a trap. And there’s a ‘kick’ button, which doesn’t seem to do anything at all. Scoring seems completely random. Fuck off Cassette 50.

See the Commodore 64 version of Attacker
See the Amstrad version of Attacker
See the Atari 8-bit version of Attacker
See the Acorn Electron version of Attacker
See the ZX81 version of Attacker

Black Hole (Commodore 64 Cassette 50 Game 38)

c64_38_blackhole_wp

Now, I’ve played a range of games on Cassette 50 that not only vary wildly in quality (usually towards the awful end of the spectrum), but also bear little relation to their title (Acorn Electron’s Smash the Windows springs immediately to mind).

But this, this takes it to a different level.

Black Hole. You’d assume it was about Space wouldn’t you? Space and spaceships and maybe aliens.  Not this one though. No, this one is about…Snoopy. Yes, Snoopy, Charlie Brown’s dog. The one who likes to lie on top of his kennel. The one from the Peanuts cartoons. And what is the connection to a Black Hole then? Well, you’ll just have to watch my video…

See the Atari 8-bit version of Black Hole
See the Acorn Electron version of Black Hole
See the ZX81 version of Black Hole

High Rise (ZX81 Cassette 50 Game 48)

zx81 highrise

I really don’t know what I can tell you. Look at the screenshot above. Watch the video below. If you can tell me what is going on you’re a better person than I am.

See the Commodore 64 version of High Rise
See the Amstrad version of High Rise
See the Atari 8-bit version of High Rise
See the Acorn Electron version of High Rise

Thin Ice (ZX81 Cassette 50 Game 18)

Zx81 Thin Ice

Cassette 50, you are getting ever more wonderful/beautiful/annoying/insane.

If Old Bones was incomprehensible, Thin Ice ramps that up to the point where it might as well have you tied to chair while it screams in Esperanto right into your terrified face.

I have literally no idea:

See the Commodore 64 version of Thin Ice
See the Vic-20 version of Thin Ice
See the Acorn Electron & BBC Micro version of Thin Ice

Old Bones (ZX81 Cassette 50 Game 17)

ZX81 Old Bones

Watch the video below. Strangely relaxing isn’t it? Could probably help you drift off at night. I don’t know what this game is about at all, and moving the pieces of that object around seems to make no difference. The ‘O’ keeps falling. Always falling. Falling asleep….

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

See the Commodore 64 version of Old Bones
See the Atari 8-bit version of Old Bones
See the Acorn Electron version of Old Bones

Attacker (ZX81 Cassette 50 Game 8)

Screen Shot 2014-05-21 at 14.52.18

What am I supposed to do here? Am I the attacker? Or the attacked? Which one of the moving shapes on the screen is me and what do they do?

Your guess is as good as mine. I’d love to know. Any ideas gratefully received. A video might help:

See the Commodore 64 version of Attacker
See the ZX Spectrum version of Attacker
See the Amstrad version of Attacker
See the Atari 8-bit version of Attacker
See the Acorn Electron Version of Attacker