Nim (ZX Spectrum Cassette 50 Game 39)

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Nim is a cheat. We’ve seen it countless times, like here. And here. And here.

How many times do I have to say it? I HATE YOU NIM!

See the Commodore 64 version of Nim
See the Atari 8-bit version of Nim
See the ZX81 version of Nim
See the Acorn Electron & BBC Micro version of Nim
See the Vic-20 version of Nim

Inferno (ZX Spectrum Cassette 50 Game 38)

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If you find yourself using a bucket to put out a massive building fire then you should probably rethink your choice and phone the fire brigade instead.

See the Amstrad version of Inferno
See the Commodore 64 version of Inferno
See the Atari 8-bit version of Inferno
See the ZX81 version of Inferno
See the Acorn Electron & BBC Micro version of Inferno

Space Search (ZX Spectrum Cassette 50 Game 37)

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You’ve lost your planet, like some change down the back of the sofa, you careless idiot. Better go and find it then, hadn’t you? Mind you don’t run out of fuel otherwise you’ll be floating in space for ever and ever and ever and ever….

See the Commodore 64 version of Space Search
See the Vic-20 version of Space Search
See the Atari 8-bit version of Space Search
See the ZX81 version of Space Search
See the Acorn Electron & BBC Micro version of Space Search

ZX Spectrum Cassette 50 Game 36 – Dragon’s Gold

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Do you want to do through a door or a cave or a tunnel? Because they are your only choices if you want to get the Dragon’s Gold. No going down paths or lanes or squeezing through cracks. Door. Tunnel. Cave. That’s your lot.

Unless you fall down a mineshaft, but then you’ll be a dead.

ZX Spectrum Cassette 50 Game 35 – Field

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FIELD. The game is called FIELD.

And in this game called Field, there is a field. There is absolutely nothing in the field apart from one flower and a very angry dog. That flower must really be worth something if you take the risk to go and steal it, but I’m more interested in whatever the farmers motivation is for having a massive field with only one plant in it. Seems like a waste to me.

ZX Spectrum Cassette 50 Game 33 – Bowls

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This is a game about bowls. It is not about bowels like you’re hoping, you big pervert. It’s not about bowel movements or people on the toilet or anything like that.
No. It is about bowls. Crown Green Bowls.

And it is shit, which as least means it does have something in common with bowels.

ZX Spectrum Cassette 50 Game 32 – Munch

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Who hasn’t ever wanted to just be a giant pair of lips? I know I have. And I’m pretty sure you have too. Well, now you can. Seductively slip those giant strawberries between your luscious lips. But avoid the nightshade. Because if you eat them you’ll be dead. And you don’t want that do you? Wouldn’t your friends wonder why you had died as just a big pair of lips instead of your normal body? Yes, they would.

Orbit (ZX Spectrum Cassette 50 Game 31)

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Note: The instructions say it’s called “Cargo Dock” but it’s called “Orbit” on the cassette inlay. Maybe to¬†avoid¬†confusion with”Cargo“?

Someone has done a poo on the space shuttle and then flushed it out into space and it’s your job to go and grab that poo before it enters the planets atmosphere and drops to the surface, ruining someone’s day.

ZX Spectrum Cassette 50 Game 30 – The Skull

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Hey! I’ve got a proposition for you. There’s this thing buried in the earth. It’s very valuable. Worth millions. I’ll give you a laser that can cut a person sized tunnel in the ground and you dig through and bring it back and we’ll share the proceeds 50/50. What do you say? A catch? You’re asking me if there’s a catch? Of course there’s no catch.

Er..

Well…there might be a big ass skellington head waiting for you. Which would probably try and eat you with it’s skellington teeth. But that’s only a might. There might not be a big ass skellington head waiting at all.

(there is).