Jet Flight (Acorn Electron Cassette 50 Game 30)

Note: the BBC Micro version is identical to the Acorn Electron version

Fly your plane safely through the other planes. The other planes being square blocks. This is one crowded airspace.  I think whoever is running air traffic control here needs to have a serious performance review because, when I go on holiday, I don’t expect my pilot to have to avoid other planes when taking off and landing. That is not stress-free and relaxing travel.

At first sight this might just look like an alternative version of one of Cassette 50’s previous games, the badly spelled Ivasive Action. There is one important difference though. It’s easier. Much easier. Take a look the video below and marvel at how I actually manage to finish a level. It’s quite an achievement. And yes, that is the sound of the TV in the background of the video. I’m so classy.

See the Commodore 64 version of Jet Flight
See the Amstrad version of Jet Flight
See the Atari 8-bit version of Jet Flight (called Jet Fighter)
See the ZX81 version of Jet Flight (called Jet Fighter)
See the Vic-20 version of Jet Flight

Spaceship (Acorn Electron Cassette 50 Game 29)

Note: the BBC Micro version is identical

It’s back into space once again for Cassette 50. This time I have to shoot another spaceship within a time limit before it humps me. I don’t want to be humped by a spaceship.

With this game you don’t even get the exciting chance to shoot your own gun, it does it automatically, so it’s just move left, move right, make sure you get there before the time limit runs out and you get humped. And it’s terribly unfair, as you’ll see from the video.

I added some music to build the anticipation of my alien humping. Keep your hands where I can see them, you pervert.

See the Commodore 64 version of Spaceship
See the Vic-20 version of Spaceship
See the Amstrad version of Spaceship
See the Atari 8-bit version of Spaceship
See the ZX81 version of Spaceship

Smash the Windows (Acorn Cassette 50 Game 28)

There’s nothing in this game that involves smashing windows.This is a fruit machine thing. I suppose you might smash the windows of your home or office in frustration at how long it takes for this game to draw the graphics on the screen. Or at the annoying alarm-like sound that plays when your game is finished.

I have never won anything any time I have played this game. Ever.

See the Commodore 64 version of Smash the Windows
See the Atari 8-bit version of Smash the Windows
See the ZX81 version of Smash the Windows
Also, this is similar to One Armed Bandit on the Vic-20

Sitting Target (Acorn Electron Cassette 50 Game 27)

Question for you. Suppose you work in a Fuel Depot and a load of freaky evil aliens came and took over, would you run away?

Fuck yes you would.

Another question for you. Suppose that in that same Fuel Depot where you worked that the freaky evil aliens had taken over, someone came along and started shooting a gun at anyone who poked their head through the front doors – would you run away out of the back doors?

Fuck yes, you definitely would.

Then why oh why do these stupid bastards who work at this Fuel Depot keep geting in the way of my bullets? Idiots! I’m only trying to shoot the freaky evil aliens you fools! RUN AWAY.

*sigh*.

“WHY DON’T YOU GIVE UP?” questions the computer. I will take its advice.

See the Commodore 64 version of Sitting Target
See the Amstrad version of Sitting Target
See the Atari 8-bit version of Sitting Target
See the ZX81 Version of Sitting Target

Overtake (Acorn Electron Cassette 50 Game 26)

Note: the BBC Micro version is identical to the Acorn Electron version

Do you know what I like to do when a car in front of me is driving too slowly and I want to get past?

I jump over it. I do. I somehow propel my car high in the air and hope that when I come down I don’t land on a different car. Because that would be bad for both me and the other driver and passengers.

I don’t think my way of overtaking is going to catch on.

See the Commodore 64 version of Overtake
See the Atari 8-bit version of Overtake
See the ZX81 Version of Overtake

Cassette 50 Interlude…

While I’m busy psyching myself up to do Side 2, I thought I’d have a look at some of the other computer formats that Cassette 50 was released on. I was hopeful that the games would be just as crap as on the Acorn Electron version.

So it was reassuring to see this effort on the Amstrad CPC uploaded by James Gamble:

If you have 37 minutes spare, Highretrogamelord89  has uploaded a video showing all the games on the Atari 8-Bit version:

And finally, zxspecstar has a blow by blow commentary of all the games on the ZX Spectrum version:

 

Cannon Ball (Acorn Electron Cassette 50 Game 25)

END OF SIDE ONE.

Note: the BBC Micro version is identical to the Acorn Electron version

And do you think that Casstte 50 has a game so awesome to end the first side that it will give you the biggest, baddest orgasm you’ve ever had just by looking at it?

Let’s see:

See the Commodore 64 version of Cannon Ball
See the Atari 8-bit version of Cannon Ball (Known As Cannon Ball Battle)
See the ZX81 version of Cannon Ball